February 3, 2006, Newsletter Issue #113: attaching to only one provider ata daycare

Tip of the Week

Some children form very close bonds with only one of teh providers at their care center. they may scream and cry when that carer is not around. Anyone but that teacher causes tears and clinging. And, if that certain teacher has to go to the restroom or leave the room for a reason, the other teachers can`t calm The child. You may arrive to see your child still crying and yelling at the top of his lungs when you pick him up in the afternoon, after that certain teaacher has gone home from her shift. The other teachersmay try to hold her and calm him, but it never works. What to do?
I have to honestly say that my personal experience with this sort of thing the solution has been a change of childcare arrangements. This behaviour of attaching to only one carer is a personality trait and is not something that will just be outgrown, though he will mature out of the associated behaviours. Perhaps you should consider home daycare for him until he is a bit older, that way when he bonds with his one provider, he will not have that provider leave him to go off shift. Giving your child what he feels he needs to be safe and happy is the way to go so he can mature at his own pace and accept changes to teachers and routines. Keep in mind that it is already a big change to him to go to someone not Mommy but who does the Mommy stuff with him (as she will comprehend it, i.e. the feeding, diapering, playing, etc.) and until he is preschool aged he will not understand the difference in roles, as his teacher is his carer who is stepping in for Mommy at this point, so it is that need that should be met. Once they are preschool aged, they may still show this type of behaviou, so a smaller setting may still be ideal. Some children go through this until they go to regualar school, where one teacher is the norm, so they settle in quite nicely. i would not wrry about it as it is nothing quite serious, as long as his needs are being met emotionally.

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